car wreck coffee

On my way to work a deer slammed into my passenger side door, shattering the window into a thousand teal crystals strewed throughout my car, my hair, my cardigan.  I slowed and pulled over, surprised to find myself aware and okay.  I shut the car off, stepped out, and shook shining bits from my hair as I walked around the car to see a missing mirror, two squished door panels and a broken windshield.  Behind the dents I saw deer poop splayed out on the rear fender.  
Apparently this scared the crap out of both of us.
After a minute’s debate, I slid back in, brushed off the my seat and proceeded to drive to work, unsure of what else to do.  Only then did I notice my audio Bible still playing on my iPhone.  It had been rolling the whole time.  The splintered story of Samuel read blank in my tin can ears.  The wind blowing through the jagged window at my right reminded me of my thankfulness for the good weather today, and a turn of my head to the empty carseat reminded me of my thankfulness that little Charli had been dropped off prior. 
The thing that finally sprung a tear into my eye was my inability to drink my normal morning coffee as my normal mug was glittered with some abnormal pieces of glass. 
As I sat in Bible study tonight (thankful for my carpooling friend) the study of Esther woke up my ears as I saw a woman still called to act in her time and place–even in the midst of her own personal turmoil.  
So today, even though I’m not sure where my head is, I’m leaning into Esther’s courageous example, not getting mired down by my car or my coffee.  We’re all moving through something, some unexpectedness this week, some movement that we hadn’t anticipated, some thing that seems too big for these little selves to handle.  God is with us in it all, even in the moments when we don’t even hear the Bible playing in the background.

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