Day 16: Gratitude in Your Marriage

I trudged in the door with my over-filled suitcase in hand.  I didn’t realize it, but packing it so full on my way home from a conference in Dallas had forced my shampoo bottle to explode on my toothbrush.

Yum.  Even after a good rinse. . . still yum.

Anyway, I was glad to be home.  So grateful for the whirlwind that was last week–a beautiful wedding in Chicago and then a I-need-a-helmet-because-this-is-blowing-my-mind conference in Dallas, but after all that go, go, go, I was ready to be home, home home.

I walked up the stairs to our house clean, no one crying, and a pork roast in the crock pot.  The beautiful simplicity of it all caught my breath.  I was overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude in such a way that I knew “pork roast” would be one of my posts.  Even though this image fills me with gratitude–the very thing I am trying to build up in this 30-day challenge–I have hesitated for two days to write a post about it.

Because, whenever I read about anyone else’s husband doing something nice, it doesn’t kindle passion and love in my marriage, it actually brings out my ugly troll self, to the tune of, “Well, I wish my husband would do something like that.”

Pork roast or not, if the only thing holding a marriage together is the commitment at the very bottom, there is a place for gratitude, perhaps even a call to it.

Some wedding-day advice I’ve heard is that the secret to a happy marriage is not to focus, as our society tends to, on the work being divided 50/50.  Focus instead on the fact that your spouse will in some seasons give more and in others you will give more.  Perhaps the gift you’re receiving today isn’t obvious at first glance, financial stability, a smile, a load of laundry, even an anchor to your days–all are gifts.

The whole Love Dare thing is really a version of this gratitude challenge.  It asks you to be the gratitude in your marriage, search out how your partner is out-giving you and express thanks.  So, whether that gratitude might bring you to tears–like a yummy pork roast framed by my family after a week of travels–or it is more covert, it is a place for thanks.

Day 16 Challenge:

  • Tell your significant other thanks today–and not in the way you want to tell him or her–but in the way he or she would want to be told.  For example, I like to write my husband little notecards with poems . . but I sense he gets the message more when I bring home a growler of his favorite IPA beer.  So today, send a “note” of thanks in a language your sweetie would understand and accept without blinking.
*This post is part of a 30-day gratitude challenge.  Subscribe via e-mail (on the left) or post a gratitude to WIN A PIE HERE.

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