At the start of this month, I went to see the movie A Star is Born by myself. As the credits rolled, I sat sobbing.
In a scene that I’m still thinking about, the famous country singer (played by Bradley Cooper) invites the unknown songwriter (played by Lady Gaga) to come out on stage and sing. As he gestures from the limelight, her eyes, her body, her everything says, “No.” And in my red velvet movie chair, I grip the armrest and hold my breath.
Finally, she steps–I exhale–and I can feel the other five people in the movie theater cheer as she steps up to the mic.
I think this part of the movie is so stirring because like this character, a part of me would rather not share my creativity. And yet another part smiles when I do.
The trouble is that these stepping up moments require gusto and courage. And it seems those muscles are hard to make strong, no matter how many times we flex.
But every new day asks that we step into the gift of courage. We need not manufacture it.
So, when a friend asked me at book club in October, “Hey, are you doing Gratitude Gal this year?” I’m thankful that I just got started.
Often, I believe, these step-up-to-the-mic moments aren’t big. Often they are quite little, and it’s only in looking back that we see them.
It’s the little choices we make. The times we care that we get to sing our song, instead of worrying so much about how it will sound to all those ears around us.
The times we slow down enough to notice, to breathe a deep breath, and say a little prayer of thanks. These thanks give us a sense of what microphones are worth stepping up to, of which ones might fit our hands, and which ones are for someone else.
As for me, the note I want to play again and again, is gratitude. Thanks so much for reading along. It means very much to me.
Evi (Gratitude Gal, 2018)